SIDDHA KUNDALINI YOGA

Fragmented Self & Refining Through Wholeness

Fragmented Self & Refining Through Wholeness

The natural and inherently blissful and equanimous condition of self is lost through the fragmentation of the identity and the energy that the sense of identity uses to maintain and extend itself into many different areas. The goal of real spiritual practice is to return to wholeness, to return to a whole and unfragmented perception of self and the reality.

Various emotional programs within self create a split and a fragmentation within the self. For instance, self-judgement creates a fissure within self as consciousness divides itself into the one who judges and the one who is judged, yet both exist within one and the same self. Self-judgement is an illusory program within the self and it occurs when a certain action of self creates a ripple that is indigestable for that consciousness. Consciousness then creates a division in the self to cope with the situation and to replay a certain already embedded program of self-judgement, self-condemnation and guilt. There will always be a background story of self-righteousness there: ‘I’ve done wrong and now I must be punished.’ The idea within self that one does wrong is the original punishment and the original sin. The analysis of the natural action is beginning and root of all sins, because it creates a foundation upon which artificial complex and fragmented action can be created. This initial division within self is the root of delusion and ignorance within human life.

If one is working on refining self then one must at every moment pay attention to where there is a division within self and the downwards spiralling stairway of complexity within the mind that usually follows from that division. One may initially think that in order to refine self one must develop a heightened sense of logical self-analysis where one dives in and asks self what has caused this and what has caused that. But the equanimous and neutral essence of self lies beyond any interpretation of action – in that space there is no self-judgement or self-pity and there is no ego-based justice. There is a justice that is based on the natural flow of life and the balancing of elements within the creation. In order to connect with that space and refine the limited self one must first learn to bring that wholeness to each moment of life.

One invites that wholeness into life when one is able to let go of each moment as it passes and just exist solely in the moment of now. This means that when one acts, one is not to return to the experience in a mode of analysis or regret or even of fond remembering. When the moment is gone the moment is to be dissolved and burnt within self.

The illusory and limited self is maintained through a mass of distorted emotional programs such as victimisation, self-pity and self-judgement. One of the favorite tricks of this limited self is to consistently fragment itself into smaller and smaller units. All of these programs operate on the principle of division within the self. It occurs when a portion of the mind contemplates on a separate part of the mind as if it was really separate. Stories and dramas are created within the mind and contain a myriad of characters, yet these images never leave the mind and never truly reflect the reality. When one ceases to contemplate and brew within the limited aspects of the emotional thought mind and instead starts to become absorbed into the silence and neutrality of the blissful equanimous being then one is gradually able to withdraw the scattered attention from an infinity of fragmented images into the stability of a whole one-pointed awareness. ‘One pointed’ does not mean that one is constantly lost in an constant oblivion-like nothingness of self, it means that when one is doing something, one is really doing something fully. In that moment every aspect of one’s being is pointing in that direction. This wholeness of attention creates a natural bliss, whereas the scattering of attention and the conflicts within the illusory faces of the same self always creates suffering.

The complex limited mind is constantly occupied with the task of solving problems that are created by its own existence. The notion of a problem is created by the limited mind itself. In order for it’s existence to be prolonged there has to be a problem and a solution. There has to be some kind of duality there in order to fuel the constant stream of thoughts and emotions. When the being becomes whole then emotions and thoughts become a tool that can be used skillfully, wisely and powerfully to function and operate creatively within the reality. Instead of the entire creative power of consciousness being scattered aimlessly through a plethoric web of emotions and thoughts, one is simply able to rest in the content awareness and direct one’s power of consciousness as it is needed in each moment.

Beings seem to wonder in an endless house of mirrors, constantly misperceiving self as this distorted form or that distorted form. When one awakens to the natural unconditional being then one perceives one’s true face and begins the processing of dismantling and then attaining mastery over this house of mirrors – the manifest creation itself. One may wonder in a world of distortions but one never mistakes self. One acts, but one is always conscious within the act. One is not led or pushed or pulled any more by the images that make up this reality. One becomes a portal and vortex within this realm to the natural being and higher realms of the  conscious light matter.

No matter what one thinks one knows about self and no matter what information one has accumulated within one’s consciousness, one should always have wholeness in mind when approaching the spiritual refinement process. If one perceives self as being full of imprints and tendencies that seem to create constant turmoil in the mind and in the outer life then one is to first of all accept that. One should be with that fully without fragmenting self into the one who judges, the one who is now evolving, the one who is awakened and the one who is good or bad. Self is whole at every moment. And when one perceives that then one is able to evolve through that wholeness and gradually bring the aspects of the gross, emotional and mental bodies into an alignment with that wholeness. When that wholeness is brought to these dimensions then the higher dimensions will automatically open.

Wholeness is already there. The natural spacious mind is always present. One is to perceive this by accepting self in the present moment and by gradually reining in the attention and creative power of self to the moment that is exactly now. When that attention is there one will naturally begin to unfold and refine. This is true grace and true Shaktipat when one rests in the attention-space that is more whole and unconditional. This space emits a spiritual radiation that naturally refines all aspects of the individual multidimensional being. This transmission is there whether one perceives it as one’s own higher awareness or the conscious awareness and attention of a Siddha Master. The connection is there, and this connection brings wholeness to the being and enlightens and transforms effortlessly.

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