Dimensions of Intimacy & The Nature of Reality
People crave intimacy and relationships yet hardly anyone understands the deeper meaning of what this actually is and what spiritual and evolutionary meaning it all holds at its core. The idea of intimacy has been reduced to the context of superficial sexual or romantic relationships between two or in some cases several individuals, when in fact, intimacy has a much deeper connotation and cannot be deeply realised without a subtle perception of reality.
The journey to realise a deeper meaning of relationships and intimacy starts from the point of self-exploration and diving into the depths of ‘who am I?’ and what this (Conscious) Reality is. With no deeper perception of self and the reality, we are not able to truly understand such notions as love, relationships, sexuality, intimacy and their evolutionary meaning. All we may think of them is superficial and lacks depth and usually originates from the obscure, limited and traumatised self. In order to realise the true meaning of these fundamental points in our existence, we need to realise that existence is consciousness, and that all other phenomena of life are simply emanations of it that have various dimensions, appearances and can be interpreted differently. In order to understand any phenomenon in this reality, we are to perceive it at the fundamental level of consciousness and understand which standpoint we are trying to look at it from.
When we perceive ourselves only as a body, all we know of or realise about self is the body, and any concept or notion becomes relevant only to the bodily dimension. Life however, is so much broader than the bodily existence, and it is where the spiritual dimension comes forth, with its broader perception that pushes us to start our journey of self-exploration, be it through intimacy or love or through a simple curiosity about who we truly are and what this life is all about. Any dimension or fraction of life will always lead us to one and the same unified existence if we are able to dig deeply enough and learn to let go of the superficial, facade-like existence of the self. If we are able to dive into the depth of every moment of now, we will realise that every moment is itself an intimate relationship with the self within the creation.
Most of our current ideas are limited and obscure because of the fact that our inner perception and realisation of the self are limited and obscure too.
The majority of people look for love and intimacy without understanding that this search is based on a lack of inner contentment and comes from a traumatic and codependent emotional response. True love, free sexuality and true intimacy are only possible once we have advanced to the level of deeper contentment within, where we experience the uninterrupted flow of existence and wholesomeness within ourselves. The more we realise this natural reality of the Self, the more we are able to understand the sacred meaning of love, relationships, sexuality and intimacy and their truly profound meaning on our existence in the body. Only then can we see that life is not limited by the existence of our own body but is the very flow that abides each and every representation of it within it. Thus, we open up to this flow not only within ourselves but within the ‘other selves’ too, and we therefore breach the difference between our ‘self’ and ‘the other’ self. Eventually, we simply grow to become intimate with the flow of life through all its elements and emanations rather than with each selfishly-chosen-by-us separate element. That is why, the evolved perception becomes more equanimous, neutral and equally accepting of all phenomena without discriminating or dividing them into good or bad, favourable or unfavourable, but instead, seeing each and every phenomenon as a part of the wholesome flow of life at any given point of time.
This unified, content and equanimous perception eventually opens one up to the actual blissful essence of the creation within one’s own being and enables one to experience deep intimacy with life through its essence, which is then perceived and experienced through any unit or phenomenon within the creation, despite their appearances or circumstances. In this case, nothing changes on the superficial level, people, objects and circumstances all remain the same, but the level or the depth of perception and awareness has evolved.
We also realise that all of our relationships are the reflections of our inner being, whether content, equanimous and blissful, or corrupt, longing and codependent. If we are corrupt and longing, then how do we expect to realise what true love, true relationships, sexuality and intimacy are? All we would know then, is a need driven by our primitive sexual urges, and a pursuit of the satisfaction of our own desires, empowering ourselves through the means of others and satisfying the idea of our false self by reflecting it through others.
The more corruption that exists within ourselves, the less we realise the depth of life and the more obstructed is our inner flow. The obstructed flow of self within means disease, fatigue, fears, cravings and obsessions. Having such obstructions within, we are not able to be a freely-flowing, content and freely-and-spontaneously-expressing-self being. We become crystallised and wood-like; we suppress and block the free flow of self-expression and communication or fight against and eventually exhaust ourselves through the unnatural currents within ourselves that drag our consciousness outwards towards the projected reality.
Sometimes, such flows or obstructions within ourselves are more subtle and ideological, obstructing our inner being and making us slaves to ideas, obsessions, cravings, longings, quests and ideals. When we are not able to be deeply intimate and free-flowing within ourselves due to anger, resentment, inner trauma or strongly held beliefs, then we are not able to be freely flowing and natural with anyone else either, or if we choose to connect with others, our expression and approach will be superficial, awkward, camouflaged, pretentious and lacking the natural flow of self-expression. Trying to intimately connect with anyone else through the prism of such awkwardness will always result in power struggles, personality clashes and long-term dissatisfaction.
When we think that we know ourselves well, it is often through intimacy and relationships that we realise that this is not quite so, because other people reflect and expose the inner falsehood and obscurity within ourselves back to us and thus, instead of harmony and fulfilment in relationships, we experience clashes, conflicts, disharmony and various negative emotions instead.
Most relationships are simply the reflection of ourselves, especially where the element of attraction prevails and there is a magnetic pull towards such a relationship. This power of attraction is within our consciousness, and it allows us to manifest and attract experiences significant for our current evolution. People, relationships, situations, circumstances, etc., are there to invoke reactions and the subtle dimension of the self that is the subtle level of intelligence. This subtle level of intelligence holds the key to our evolution and to the depth, to which we connect to the creation and the Ultimate existence. The less we are aware of ourselves, the more superficial is our comprehension of life and all that we experience or call life too: the people, the situations, the relationships and events.
Our interaction with life is intimate simply because we are life, and spirituality is our natural being that helps us to realise this profound level of intimacy within ourselves towards life. Once we realise this, we liberate our corrupt obscure and edgy perception of everything that we experience through the projected reality. All our corruption is invoked through our clashes with the projected reality. If we were intimate with the conscious emanation of life within ourselves, and loving and caring, there would be no clash or conflict to show us what is within ourselves or to serve the purpose of an evolutionary mechanism of liberation (from the corruption of this current cycle). Then, our perception and our depth of experience of life changes, and we realise that whatever seems to bind us becomes the way to our liberation. Our consciousness simply manifests all that is within it so that we can clearly see it and eventually dissolve or refine it. The purpose of life experiences are to realise all this obstruction, falsehood and superficiality that does not allow us to experience life as the unified free flow of natural being, and which, on the contrary, limits, suppresses and drains the actual conscious energy/power of the immortal essence within the individual and the collective selves.
All our superficial ideas of love, intimacy and relationships lack spiritual depth and lack the realisation that life is not for our own pleasure or pain, entertainment, happiness or unhappiness. It is simply here to reveal to us the reasons behind our incarnation, our own bondage and attachments to this reality. This won’t, however, be realised as long as we are subjected to the false notions of life and try to hide behind its facade. Life is nothing but our own being and the internal perception that is either unified with the being or reflects the obscurity and corruption. As long as this perception is corrupt, everything will be corrupt and veiled, and to see these veils for what they are, we need life to present us with an experience through which we are able to reflect it and thus neutralise the obscure and veiled perception into a complete and integrated apprehension of reality as it is.
Relationships are the way to realise the wholesomeness within by breaking through the internal barriers and differences and finally restoring the intimate being of self through life and merging with the collective. Without this subtle realisation of life and its purpose through relationships and various life circumstances, we will continue having random connections, aimless communication and spiritual directionlessness throughout our existence. As soon as we realise this and we realise that all we have in life is for the purpose of our evolution, we stop dreaming and we connect to the natural flow through which we see how our relationships (friends, family, partners) as well as all of our life circumstances reflect us and help us realise ourselves on a deeper level. The more we realise ourselves, the deeper we are able to connect to others and refine ourselves on subtler levels, and the more we realise what we truly want and what is no longer relevant for us in each given moment. This way, we become more content, conscious and deeply intimate with life instead of fearing it, running away, hiding, isolating ourselves and escaping from it or throwing ourselves into whatever, going into extremes, indulging and destroying our flesh. Finally, we can learn to consciously and, in a balanced manner, experience each step of the evolutionary ladder, while at the same time staying flexible and being freer and more connected with the natural flow of life.
With time and more inner refinement, our preferences and relationships change, and thus, the level of our intimacy with life and our level of freedom and self-expression changes too. From an ego-driven, narcissistic idea of the self, we gradually evolve into a content and wholesome being who engages with others through wholesomeness and contentment rather than lack, fear and need. Thus, the quality of our relationships changes and our intimacy level with life, ourselves and with other people also deepens, while we keep on breaking through the false ideas, romantic facades and social beliefs into a wholesome and all-encompassing experience of self-existence.
Without being deeply intimate, open and honest within ourselves, there is no way we can be unconditional with others. Thus, our entire life is about trying to reveal that more unconditional and free-flowing, natural and content self. The point of life is not love, relationships, wealth or spirituality, or any other separate, defined element. The point of life is the restoration of the wholesomeness of being within the self and (thus within) the existence (first of all on the level of perception that eventually results in the actions and the circumstances), where abundance and depth are natural and effortless, where love is contentment and the sexual connection is deeply intimate and soul-fulfilling, and where emotions are directed only towards a constant gratitude to one’s existence and to the life itself.
